CountryMan....and Woman!: October 2012

Oh my goodness...The past three and a half weeks have been some of the craziest and hardest days of my life. Little Liam got a little overzealous and tried to come visit us 7 weeks early. We have been so blessed and so lucky that he was able to stay in utero for as long as he did, and come to us so healthy. I've wanted to write down this story for quite some time, but I barely had a moment to breathe amongst all this - let alone write a blog post. But now that he is home and I can finally sit down I actually have a minute to write down my thoughts and Liam's little tale.. Its excessively long...it does span out over a whole week after all.

August 29th is pretty much one of the only time marks I can remember from all this. It was a typical Wednesday, nothing too special except for the fact that I had my 33 week doctors appointment for Liam. This time we were going to do a sonogram to make sure that little boy was head down and that we weren't needing to schedule a c-section. I was a little nervous because of this... I did NOT want a c-section. I was pretty sure his little bottom was what was sticking me in the ribs all the time, and that he was head down because I always felt his hiccups,the ones that he got daily, low in my pelvis...But you can never be too sure. It would be just my luck for him to have been head up. Long story short she did the sono and his head was nice and low in my pelvis... I was so relieved. Shane's mother, Denise, was in town and heading out that day - she was so happy she got to be here for the appointment. After, we had lunch and then I took her to the airport to head back to Texas. Then I headed home and started on a few little projects until Shane got home. It was 4pm and we were both pretty exhausted from the previous week and Shane just starting school, so we took a nap until it was time for work. 5pm rolls around- Shane headed up to get the girls, And I told him I would be up in a second.. Moments after he left I was a little shocked when I thought I peed my pants...Oh the woes of pregnancy.. But I KNEW I didn't pee..what the heck was this. I thought maybe it was just some crazy pregnancy thing that I would of course be googling later. But I was in a hurry, so ignored it for the moment, quickly changed and headed up to get the girls...

One of the girls asked to use the restroom, so I took her... while I was waiting by the door I realized I was getting soaked...At that moment I knew exactly what was going on, but still slightly in denial I ran into one of the stalls just to double check that I wasn't somehow spontaneous peeing my self with no control. Once I had somewhat taken in what was going on I went and poked my head through the door where Shane and all the girls were... "Shane!" I called his name..I was trying to stay calm and not alert all the girls. Of course he didn't hear me so I had to yell louder. Finally he looked over after some of the girls told him I was calling him from the door... I motioned him over. Apparently when he saw this, having no idea of anything that had transpired and completely joking, he said "it's go time!" ...well It really was go time.

I pulled him into one of the stalls and said "LOOK...This is not PEE!" Seriously this whole time I thought I was a little bit crazy. We came back to the house and Shane immediately jumped on google (haha...oh google) to see what Amniotic fluid was like and instructed me to walk around and see if it kept leaking.. (of course it was going to, but in moments like this you sometimes have false hope) So as I'm walking around with fluid dripping down my legs Shane is reading to me "it is clear and odorless ".. umm.. check and check. Of course I didn't have the doctor's number on hand, so I told him to call Kelly. Kelly is my cousin who lives near by and who referred me to the OBGYN I was using. So he calls Kelly as he tells me to lay down to keep the fluid from leaking out... (our logic in the moment was just ...a little lost.) Kelly answers, "hey" I can hear her on the other end... " Hey kelly..." Shane responds.. "uh oh, Whats wrong" She knew the second she heard Shane's voice and not mine that something wasn't right. He explained to her that we needed the doctors number and didn't answer her question "Shane, Whats wrong" Then he told her I was leaking fluid. "Go to the hospital, Her water broke... Don't call..just go"

We hung up and I just lost it. It finally hit me that My water did indeed break, and I was terrified for our son. Shane knelt down beside me and told me he was going to give me a blessing. I couldn't tell you one word that It said but afterwards I felt much more at peace and was finally able to think straight.

Or maybe It went blessing and then calling kelly? because I remember after the blessing knowing that going to the hospital was the right decision and that I wasn't just crazy..this was actually my water.

So, Of course my hospital bag was only halfway packed... I didn't think I needed It for AT LEAST
4 more weeks, and I had taken September 5th and 6th off of work to finalize all the things we needed to get done before the baby came.
Shane was running around trying to finish packing, when I told him it didn't matter and that we needed to leave. I grabbed a towel for the ride, and we headed out the door. We called our parents on the way to the hospital to let them know...just incase we had a baby that night. Shane's mom was in Colorado, waiting for her next flight - She didn't believe Shane. She thought it was a joke. Finally she realized we were serious and started on booking a return flight to Utah.

So, of course the parking lot is packed - Shane dropped me off at the front door. Well labor and delivery is behind a locked door and you need the receptionist to open it for you...of course ...the one and single time I needed to speak to the receptionist there was a line, and she was on the phone.

Shane came in before it was my turn to talk to her, and we both just had to laugh. I was
standing in a line, waiting to tell the receptionist my water broke. the irony.

She let us in, where I went to the next reception area..."my water broke".

Totally taking their sweet time got the paperwork...we filled it out, no one was in hurry at all.
They admitted me to triage and instructed me to put on a gown..then we waited... haha. the nurse came in and asked me a million unrelated questions for about 30 minutes. Finally the resident came in to check me... I was only 1 cm and not effaced at all. they had to run a test and make sure it was really amniotic fluid...reallyyyyy? They told me If the test came back positive that we would not be leaving the hospital and I would be admitted.

well. Minutes later, there I was in labor and delivery hooked up to belly monitors, being poked and prodded like crazy, I was given a catheter for a urine sample, an IV, and a shot for steroids for his lungs and a pill to stop uterine contractions all in about 10 minutes time all while being over loaded with information from a few different doctors... of course I wasn't listening...How could I?

I just needed a SECOND! we both did, it was very overwhelming.
They told me that if he came they wouldn't do anything more to stop him, but if he didn't I would be there until at least 34 weeks - which luckily for me was only another week. I stayed in labor and delivery all night as they watched my "contractions" They didn't like the "irritability" that my uterus was showing on the monitor

I kept having mini contractions all night but nothing painful - I don't remember what time of day it was but the next day, Thursday, sometime they took me up to...oh I don't know what its called, where you go usually after you have your baby. I got a room... and to make a very long story short, there I sat..all week haha.

Being in the hospital for a week was probably one of the most frustrating things, simply because every time I talked to someone they told me something completely different. "We will take you on Sunday", "we will take you monday", "you can walk around", "no you cant walk around"..everything was jumbled. Well, It was labor day weekend and m doctor was of course on vacation. She told me we would shoot for Wednesday (when she got back - convenient)

I was permitted one wheelchair ride a day -the highlight of my day. So, Shane and I would drag them out as long as possible and venture off to parts of the hospital that for sure felt like we weren't supposed to be in. Most of the time when he could be there, he would just cuddle up in my hospital bed with me and we would just relax and talk or watch a little TV. We went through a lot that week, but I think our relationship about double in strength

Well, Tuesday night finally rolls around - The nurses informed me that between 8-10 pm they would take me down to labor and delivery and start cervadel to start opening my cervix.... 10 pm came and went, about 11 pm my new nurse came in and told me around midnight they would take me down - that labor and delivery was SWAMPED. Midnight came and went....nothing. 1, 2, 3...finally at exactly 3:50 am nurses came to my room and said "labor and delivery is ready for you"...oh cool thanks.

I was wheeled down and given a room, (labor and delivery was as quite and stagnant looking as could be though..but remember they were "swamped") they checked me - I was 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced and he was at negative 1 station. Because I was already dilating that meant I didn't need cervadil and that I was getting exactly what I didn't want- hooked up to pitocin right away . They started me off with pitocin at a level 4...nothing. about every 30 minutes the nurse came back in and upped the machine up another 4. 2 hours later my pitocin was up to 16 and I still wasn't contracting. About 6 am (or so... my times are all screwed up) the nurse brought the resident in to check me. She told me that there was possibly part of the bag in front of my baby's head. The resident checked me again and agreed with the nurse that there was water in front of his head and she wanted to break it. Literally, a minute later I was contracting. The contractions were soon only minutes apart and I was having to work through them - Thinking this was only the beginning of what labor felt like and knowing my doctor wanted me to get an epidural anyways I asked the nurse to send the anesthesiologist in.. thinking it would take him a while to arrive. Minutes later he was in the room - and it was a good thing too because my contractions were booming. I was really having to breath through it.

I told them I reallllllly need to use the bathroom before he gave me the epidural. They told me no, if i did that I would end up having a baby on the toilet...I told them. "you JUST checked me. I'm a 4, I really need to use the bathroom." They insisted that I couldn't use the restroom. So...the anesthesiologist instructed me to lay down on my side and curl up in a ball... through my contractions...haha. Shane came to my side and held my hand, and I just remember breathing through the pain and squeezing his hands with my eyes closed tight. After the doctor left the nurse check me again.. I was a 9 and ready to push any minute...okay so they were right, I didn't need to use the bathroom. I waited there about 20 minutes for the epidural to take effect- and then we just hung out for a bit because my doctor wasn't in yet..

Because Liam was coming so early they wanted him to go straight to NICU - This meant I would deliver in the Operating Room because it had a pass through window to the NICU. This way he would be assessed immediately. Finally they wheeled me down the hall and into this cluttered stark white room.. Then I waited some more because my doctor still was not in yet. About 20 minutes later my doctor walks in. She had tons of tools ready because of my uterine didelphys - she actually had to do a lot of snipping and sewing before I even began to push. Finally she looked at me and they instructed me on what to do, they told Shane every time I had a contraction to hold my leg for me. Well, 3 pushes later at 8:21 am out came a tiny gorgeous baby boy. - which now that I think about it I didn't even double check that he was a boy. The image is frozen in my mind- his arms flailing in the air, pink as could be and crying at the top of this lungs. I reached out and touched his little head with the tip of my fingers before they whisked him away through the window - he was gone and the room was quite again. It was the best and worst moment of my life all at the same time.

My doctor finished stitching me up and they wheeled me back into the labor and delivery room. "Do you need anything?" they asked me... "just to see my baby" I told them.

Nurses came in and out and it was in the few minutes we were alone that Shane and I decided his name would be Liam Cayde Countryman

Shane went to see Liam, and brought me back pictures to see.
I'm not sure what time it was but they finally told me I could go see him- They wheeled me down and from across the room I could see this tiny little baby, under heat lamps and hooked up to monitors and wires. I couldn't get closer than probably a foot or two because of the bed I was in. I just touched his little toes and took pictures. They only let me stay about 10 minutes until I was taken back to my original room up stairs. I had to wait for my legs to come back before they would let me down to see him again. - which took forever.

The next day they finally let me hold him. He felt so little- but he was perfect. We were so blessed because he was breathing on his own.

People have told me over and over again how lucky I am and was to have such a short labor, that I had it "easy".. I sat in the hospital for a week, felt labor up to a 9, and had my baby whisked away from me before I even met him. I missed out on so much time with him in his first 10 days, and no one can tell you what it feels like to leave the hospital without your child. Yes, we were so very blessed that I was able to keep him in for the extra week that I did, That I was able to take in two doses of the steroid for his lungs, and that he was as healthy as he was..And I was blessed to have quick labor and to be able to deliver vaginally... I've counted my blessing and still continue to count them daily and I know that they are plentiful. But let me tell you and I think all of the moms out there understand when I say that I would have gone through a 12 hr.. 24, 48 hour labor if needed in turn for him not being taken away and poked and prodded with needles and IVs just moments after birth, and to have been able to hold my baby and have that moment of your child being handed to you for the first time as hes crying for the first time... literally I do would anything.

My labor definitely wasn't what I had planned at all. I wanted to walk, and use the tub and a birthing balls. But I still had a really great experience in the end. I wouldn't change it because it got me a healthy little boy.

Liam was in the NICU for 10 days, He came home weighing 4 pounds 13 oz...and now weighs an incredible 6 pounds. He is growing like a weed right before our eyes and becomes chunkier and chunkier every single day...He is such a good boy and already has so many quirks about him. he is 4 weeks today...and will be a month in just two days...where has the time gone?